I think Safaricom ought to change some of these messages they send to you
after you perform a service request (checking credit, topping up, blah blah
blah) and the voice notifications. This is because I realized if you load your
phone with a thousand bob worth of credit, once finished, it will tell you the
same thing as the guy who topped up with twenty bob.
For those who never load their phone but insist on checking their balance (like
the 0.87 balance grows overnight) it should reply with a message like, "We
are fed up with you checking credit everyday yet you don't top-up! Uza simu
ununue credit!"
Now for those who always have credit lakini most of it comes from Sambaza
Donations, the credit balance reply should be something like, "The credit
balance (which you didn't buy by the way so we wont say Your Credit balance...)
is XX shillings. You last topped up this phone with YOUR OWN MONEY last year in
September."
For those people who beep even when they have credit, the message should be
something like, "Your credit balance is Ksh 0.00. Why u ask? Because even
if we tell you that you have a million bob, you'll beep your friend, wait for
him to call, and then tell him YOU WON A MILLION BOB WORTH OF CREDIT!"
The rest of the paying subscribers can continue receiving the normal messages
with a few exceptions.
If you buy a Bamba twenty, make two phone calls and send two texts, then you
decide to check if you still have credit, the message should be something like,
"Wacha mchezo! Unadhani credit ya mbao inaweza kuwa imebaki kweli? Two
phone calls, two texts... You do the math DAMBASS!"
To topping-up. For those perennial bamba fifty fans, the topping up return
message from 141 should be, "Same" And if they top up like five sok,
they should get a message like, "Our system is acting up today! Imagine it
assumes u loaded 500 bob. We have adjusted though. Must have been a zero
error!"
And finally, after staying for a few weeks without topping up, irrespective of
the amount you top up, Safaricom should just use one message. It should be
something short, precise and to the point. Like, "Finally!" unless
you are from Kibera of course which would mean they would have to reply with,
"Umechoka kurusha mawe?" ..
CRAZY NAIROBIAN
yawa...
